Who am I?

How to find a meaningful answer that lasts

I grew up watching Goonies, Mighty Ducks, and The Sandlot.

For whatever reason, every one of those movies had a similar character:

Chunk.

Golberg.

Ham.

The fat kid.

Well, that was me.

I was the fat kid.

Through most of grade school and into middle school, I just didn’t fit in socially…and, well, physically. I was slow, out of shape, and awkward. Like most teens, I was searching for who I was and where I belonged.

Humans are meaning-driven creatures, which means our minds demand that we have a clear answer to questions about our identity and purpose. And when you’re the fat kid, it’s hard to find a meaningful identity.

I wish our search for an identity was just a teenage problem that we eventually grew out of, like acne and body order. But the search for a meaningful identity doesn’t go away. It might evolve, but the question: “Who am I?” remains.

Scanning for an identity

In the search for an identity, our brains are always scanning for answers.

Unconsciously, we size up our friends, wondering if we are the “good-looking” one in the group. Or maybe we are the one who makes the most money? Or maybe we have a special skill that both sets us apart and keeps us included?

But such comparisons don’t help. They just keep us anxious and insecure.

Where can we find a meaningful identity?

Instead of comparing ourselves with others, and even instead of looking at ourselves at all in this present moment, the Apostle John has a better idea.

He wrote: 2 Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 3 All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.[1]

We might not like who we are right now for a number of reasons. Maybe we don’t like how we look or act. We might not like how good or successful we are. But John says one day we will be proud of who we are. In fact, according to John, we can’t comprehend what we will be one day. When Jesus returns, our bodies will be resurrected, and WE WILL BE LIKE JESUS. And because we will be like Jesus, we will be able to see Jesus as he truly is. We will be included in his group.

This vision of who we will be gives us a meaningful identity that surpasses the superficial comparisons that keep us stuck and depressed.

It gives us hope that one day we will be who we want to be.

John says that this vision and hope of our future self lead us to “purify ourselves just as Jesus is pure.” In other words, when we have a vision of becoming like Jesus on the Last Day, we start to live up to that identity in this present moment. When we know we will be like Jesus, we start acting like him even now. We stop obsessing about our inadequacies, and we start focusing on who we can help and how we can serve.

A Daily Practice

Instead of letting your brain scan your surroundings to secure your identity, why not preemptively tell yourself who you really are because of who you are going to be?

My encouragement to you would be to write a simple statement that describes your future, glorified state. And then explain why this vision of your future self gives you a meaningful identity in this moment.

Something like this:

I am a dearly loved child of God, and when Jesus returns, I’m going to be like him. I will be the patient, strong, and loving person that I always want to be. Because this is my future, I will begin to live out this identity today.

Your Meaningful Identity

I wish I could go back and talk to my younger self. I would tell him that it’s going to be ok. You might feel out of place for a moment, but God is going to form you into the person that you’ve always wanted to be. And you start right now, moving in that direction. And when Jesus returns, he will finish the job.

Find your identity, not in who you are right now, but who you will be when Jesus returns. Live today based on who you will be on the Last Day.

[1] 1 John 3:2–3